In the Light of Day
by themuller
Summary: Things Danny does at home all day—or not. 00QAD by a prompt from a-forger-and-a-point-man on tumblr.
1. Chapter 1

Two years. Two years, since Bond, Q and Danny had freed Alex and the world of TRS. Two years, which had seen the four of them become an item. Two years of Danny coaxing Alex into working at MI6 as one of Q's employees and eventually persuading him into field work with Bond. Danny had been patient or pushy, comforting or challenging, somehow always sensing what Alex needed to continue forward, to become a whole and happy person for the first time in his life.

Tanner had made no secret about his reservations toward Alex. Even Q seemed to have had his doubts, despite having seen his exceptional work at Q-branch. Alex smiled to himself, looking out of the small window of the airplane. Bond, sleeping soundly on the seat next to him, didn't have any qualms. As soon as Danny had uttered the possibility of Alex and Bond working as a team, he had grabbed it wholeheartedly, dragging Alex along to tests and training. Danny would be waiting at home, ready to listen and cajoling Alex into telling him all about his results and experiences.

During the last months, Alex had been sent off on several missions with Bond. Q's initial reluctance had been replaced with a subdued enthusiasm. The two agents had become one of M's favourite pairings. Bond's destructive and spontaneous style was counteracted by Alex's rather more thought through approach. Most gadgets and weaponry were now returned in pristine condition to Q-branch. At the same time the two of them were causing less foreign incidents and explosions than ever before.

Life was good. And yet, Alex had sensed a change in Danny. Less than a year ago, Alex finally began to realise the enormity of their feat. And while he had been observing Danny intensely since the very first time he had encountered him on the bridge, now he began to conduct small, innocent experiments with him. Bringing home cooking utensils and watch Danny use or dismiss them; potted plants and crocheting were tried out on Danny, as well as different kind of sports and dancing. Alex registered and remembered, keeping an internal tally on how well his experiments were received and for how long Danny kept an interest in them. Any kind of idea or event Alex could conceive of was welcomed by Danny, who obviously saw them as exiting new adventures. Yet, Alex kept poking, wanting to find the one thing that could last for more than the time both Alex and Danny invested in it together.

On one of his early morning runs Alex tried out a new route and he came across a second hand bookshop. He decided to visit it during his lunch break the same day, browsing through the books and finding a first edition of Maurice by E. M. Forster. Nothing special, but still something made Alex buy the book for Danny. A few days later, Alex had to leave on a mission with Bond. Q spent two days straight at MI6, overseeing their progress before he returned home to Danny.

When Bond and Alex arrived the day after, Danny would be greeting them as enthusiastic and joyful as always. This time, though, he had the book near by, retelling the tale to Alex, pointing out his favourite scenes and discussing how the life of Maurice and his lover would continue. Alex hadn't known the story, when he bought the book. Forster as a writer he had heard about, but for his next gift he decided against the obvious choices, A Room with a View or A Passage to India. He found Forster's Aspects of the Novel, remembering the time Danny had shown the three of them his early attempts on writing and creating stories. Danny curled up on the sofa, book in his hands, every now and again sipping tea or absentmindedly petting Turing, who was purring away by his side. Alex would pretend to work on some of his algorithms, sitting at the dinner table, watching Danny fascinated. Even Q would look up from his coding and cast surprised glances in Danny's direction. Without a word, Bond would take it on him to cook dinner, smirking impressed at Alex.

With great care Alex continued to supply Danny with new books. Classics as well as modern writers, translations from German and French, fiction and theoretical works on literature—Danny would soak it all up. He began to take notes, comparing texts, started writing his own stories again. All the time, Danny would return to the two very first books, Alex had given him. Every new story, every theory was scrutinised and set against Forster's works, always to be found lacking in some way or other.

Alex shifted in his seat. When they had left Danny for this mission, Alex had felt a peculiar kind of unease washing over him. Nothing was obvious in Danny's demeanour, still something felt wrong.

Bond's hand touched Alex's fingers as if by accident, pulling him out of his reverie. Alex had his indifferent mask in place as he glanced at Bond's sleeping face. Bond half-opened his eyes and grinned at him, brushing over Alex's hand with light fingers. Alex swallowed and with a satisfied smile Bond closed his eyes once more. The faint blush on Alex's face hadn't gone unnoticed.

Q collected them at the airport. Being in public with the two agents his smile was as always reserved and he just nodded as a greeting. That was, until Bond had fetched their bags, unceremoniously dropping them at Alex's feet, and continued to embrace Q in a hug, bending him over and kissing him senseless. Bags in hand and watching unashamedly, Alex stood beside the spectacle, which drew a few whistles and encouraging shouts from other passengers. With dishevelled hair and glasses askew, Q tried to collect himself when Bond released him, a wicked grin on his face.

"Let's get home to Danny," Bond said, already on his way to the parking space.

Taking the driver's seat, Bond waited for Q and Alex to get into the back seat. The two of them would probably use the drive home for exchanging their newest insights into some coding mysteries and algorithms, Bond didn't stand a chance to understand. Instead, he would watch them every now and then while driving. He revelled in the way Alex would let go, sitting close to Q, casually touching, even caressing the other. Bond had no idea how Alex was able to keep the cold persona during their missions and even when working at MI6. Only very few people knew about Alex's relationship with Danny. Even fewer knew about his relationships with Q and Bond. And Bond suspected that Alex had no idea how important he had become in Bond's life. When they started out on their first mission together, Bond had felt himself relax for the first time in years. Knowing somebody had his back out in the field—somebody Bond trusted without any doubts or reservations—had proven to be more important than Bond ever had been able to imagine. From having solely focussed on accomplishing the mission, hoping to return alive and without too many injuries, he began to feel alive again. Assessing risks and taking less chances. Together, they had been able to not only avoid civilian losses, but actually helping people. Bond had to smirk. If they continued down this road, his reputation as a double-oh might be ruined for good.

Q and Alex were bend over a tablet, discussing some kind of mathematical problem. Q had been fiddling with his mobile and he suddenly stopped answering Alex. With a frown on his face, he swiped his phone several times. Alex looked up from the tablet with a questioning glance.

"What—"

"Danny hasn't answered my text."

Bond had accelerated the car before Q had finished the sentence. Q tried to call, but the phone went to voice mail immediately. Alex tried with the same result. Bond pushed the car to its limits. They were in the middle of London and traffic was dense.

"When did you last speak to him?"

Alex voice was quiet, betraying nothing of the anxiousness he was feeling. Q knew anyway.

"I, it was this morning. Haven't been home the past," Q paused, trying to remember. "What day is it? Thurs-, no Friday. That would be three days."

Q swallowed and looked guilty.

"It's—I haven't had time. The mission."

Alex nodded slightly. He understood far too well. He held on to Q's hand, grounding him. He didn't need to look at Bond, knowing that he would look as guilty as Alex himself felt. All three of them had taken Danny for granted. He was the happy ray of sunshine, ready for them whenever they found time to return home. Always smiling, listening with sincere interest, ready to pick up the pieces and put all of them together again. He was their fulcrum and they knew it.

Alex had been afraid something might happen. Danny getting up and leave, finding his way back to his old life, which on so many levels sounded more interesting to Alex than sitting at home, being all domestic, turning the living room into a cosy nest and preparing dinner for them, should they be home in time to eat it.

Despite Bond's best efforts, the drive felt endless. When he finally turned into their parking space, the three of them were out of the car and running up the stairs without thinking about their luggage or locking the car properly.

The door to their flat was closed and locked. No sign of any unbidden intruders. Q took out the keys and silently opened the door, Bond covering him. They didn't make a sound as they entered the hall way, hoping for their cats to attack as usual, for Danny to stand in the living room door, smiling at them.

There was only silence. No movement, no cats, and no Danny.

Slowly, they moved forward to the half closed living room door. Q kept behind both Alex and Bond. Alex was the one to fully open the door, suppressing a gasp.

Danny was slumped under one of the windows, Turing clutched in his arms, knees drawn up so his forehead was resting on them. Pam was for lack of a better word guarding Danny. Tail held high, hair standing on edge, the white cat managed to look regal, accusing and utterly disdainful at the same time. When she saw Bond, her ears flattened. Bond was too surprised to move. Alex on the other hand had only eyes for Danny. He walked past the guarding cat who was seemingly stunned by this unexpected boldness. Pam recovered fast from the trespassing and hissed a loud warning at Bond.

"Get some tea and blankets."

Alex whispered barely loud enough for Q and Bond to hear. He had knelt down beside Danny and tried to get a reaction from him. Turing was apparently quite content being held tightly, purring away with eyes closed.

"Danny?"

Alex was whispering. When Danny didn't react, Alex touched his arm carefully.

"I am going to take you into my arms and move you to the sofa, okay?"

He waited a few moments for an answer. But Danny didn't answer. Alex tenderly embraced Danny, lifting and dragging him up and towards the sofa. Danny felt like a dead weight, unresponsive and apathetic. His head lolled onto Alex's shoulder and Alex could feel the stubble on Danny's face. How long had he been sitting there? Danny's face was dry, but his eyes were red, and his skin was still blotched. Turing had kept up the purring, clinging to Danny when his arms just fell to his sides. Alex sat sideways on the sofa, arranging Danny so his back was against his chest. He let Danny crumple against him, placing his arms on his stomach with Turing curling up between them. Danny's eyes closed and he made a small sound when Alex nuzzled into his hair. The usually wild and unruly locks lay flat against Danny's head. One more sign that he must have collapsed last night or even earlier.

Q had come and taken Pam with him, before he returned with tea, sandwiches cut into small chunks, and some blankets. Alex looked gratefully at him, trying to smile. He looked wrecked and Alex couldn't blame him. The three of them had some heavy guilt to deal with in the next weeks and months coming. Q motioned toward Danny and then pointed at himself and back towards the door, mouthing okay? Alex nodded. He was no expert, but he suspected Danny needed cuddles and quietness around him. He draped the blankets over them, making sure, Danny was comfortable and warm. Turing's purring hadn't stopped and right now the small tabby was inching closer towards Danny's face, placing itself on the opposite side of Alex's head, effectively trapping Danny between the two of them. Q had closed the door behind him and a soothing lull fell over the room. Alex could hear some mumbling from the kitchen, Bond and Q probably discussing what to do.

Alex caressed Danny's arms, telling him quietly how much he meant for all of them and how important he was for their lifes.

"I'm sorry, Danny. I'm sorry. I should have known, should have helped you."

Alex was rocking them tenderly, holding Danny tight and placing small kisses wherever he could reach. He helped Danny drink some tea and fed him small mouthfuls of sandwich. Danny pliantly opened his mouth, swallowed and chewed, but was otherwise unresponsive.

They stayed that way for a while. The shadows in the room grew longer, and the light was fading into grey. A small knock on the door announced Q's entry.

"I've drawn a bath."

Q had changed into pyjamas, and Alex suspected Bond to have done the same.

"We'll be in the guest room, okay?"

Alex smiled gratefully at him and Q left again, leaving the door open behind him.

Turing sensed the change when Alex began to untangle himself from the sofa. The tabby left, probably in search of food and water. Alex briefly wondered how long the cats had kept their vigil, then he got Danny gently up from the sofa and decided to carry him. Danny didn't protest, just burrowed his face into the crook of Alex's neck. It was the first sign of a conscious move since they had gotten back to the flat.

He took his time undressing Danny, having placed him on a small stool in the bathroom. As soon as Danny was naked, Alex lifted him inside the warm bath tub, following him a few minutes later. Alex had arranged both of them to his liking, Danny again lying between his legs, his back against Alex's chest. He could feel Danny relaxing, heaving a deepfelt sigh and letting his eyes fall closed.

Alex washed Danny with a soft flannel, taking care of every inch of Danny's body, reverently washing away not only the grime but some of the agony, Danny must have felt. He responded to Alex's few request, lifting his arm, turning his hands up, moving his legs. Alex's movements were measured and had a certain monotony over them, relaxing both of them.

Before the water got cold, Alex washed Danny's hair and got him out of the tub. He used a large, soft towel to dry him off and helped Danny through the motions of getting ready for bed. The shaving had to wait for the morning, Alex decided. If he was honest with himself, he found the stubble rather sexy on Danny.

The bedroom was lit up by a small lamp on one of the bed side tables. Q had turned up the duvet and all Alex had to do was put Danny in the middle of the large bed, then crawl in beside him. As soon as he turned off the light, Danny curled up around him with a small contented sigh. His breathing evened out within minutes and a slight snoring filled the room.

Alex lay awake for a long time, thinking about Danny and wondering how he had been able to cope with all of this for so long. They had spoken about it. Discussed it at length, explained and described the events as best they could. But Alex had always been the centre of attention. Danny had always made sure Alex's needs were taken care of, putting himself last. Not just for Alex, but for Q and Bond as well. Their relationship were hanging by the thread when Alex had been rescued. Danny had been there for them as well. Mediating between them, ensuring they continued communicating despite everything that had transpired. Danny had taken care of every one around him. And they had let him, because they needed him to take care. He had to be the strong one; the one who knew what to do to drag his lovers out of their dark places; the one who could make them laugh and cry; the romantic one; the ingenious lover; the one who kept giving.

A single tear found its way down Alex's cheek. He had no idea if he ever would be able to repay Danny for all the trouble, all the anxiousness he had experienced—all because he fell in love with Alex. And Bond. And Q.

Danny shifted in his sleep, mumbling something. A smile played on his face and Alex wondered how it was even possible that he wasn't a broken, cynical and bitter man. How was it possible that he was able to smile, able to approach the world with an innocence Alex had lost so early in his own life?

With a small smile of his own, he let his fingers tangle through Danny's hair, enticing small happy sounds from him in his sleep. His fingers trailed down Danny's back, circling over the small of his back, before closing his arms around Danny and kissing him on his head.

He fell asleep a few minutes later.


	2. Chapter 2

Danny woke up to an empty bed. With his head burrowed deeply in one of the pillows, he imagined the lingering scent of Alex. He tried to fight off the awakening, tried to hold on to the dream he had been dreaming. Alex, James, and Q had returned home to him. Alex had taken care of him, and Danny had fallen asleep entangled in his lovers arms. He had felt save and beloved, for a short time being freed from the void that had taken hold of him over the past days. Danny could feel the dreaded emptiness rise again.

He tried to hide away from this feeling of nothingness by pulling the duvet over his head. He wanted to create a dark, warm cave, instead it felt like a suffocating tomb. The world was muted, but he was unable to put up any resistance against the emptiness. The apathy regained its power, leaving him lying listless like the days before. Somewhere deep down in his consciousness he recognised the signs. So many years ago that it felt like two or three lifetimes.

The first time, when he had come out and dad had shouted at him, beaten him up. He stopped when Danny stop fighting back. Danny felt nothing after that. No matter what insult dad threw at him; no matter how many times mum tried to explain why Danny must be wrong. For months, Danny felt like an automaton, carrying on, waiting for something, anything, that would push him out of his stupor. It came with his first time, a messy, painful encounter. He packed his few belongings and moved in with the man. Danny was in love, trying to show it as best he could. He had so much to learn, thinking that it was the way it should be. He was told that he had to become a better lover, pay more attention to the other man. And he tried. They met up with Rich at one of his parties. Danny was passed around like a trophy. It wasn't all bad. He became better at observing the smallest signs of a mood shift in his lover and the lovers to come. He was always trying to please, to understand what was expected from him. He broke free, not just from Rich and his gang, but from lovers, who were abusive. Lovers who tried to manipulate him. Lovers who took advantage of him. And he learned new tricks, learned how to say no, how to get out of relationships before they damaged him for good.

He had just met Scottie. He had been different. Scottie listened, was interested in Danny, didn't demand sex or attention. For the first time in his life, Danny had felt safe. And yet, just like now, something was missing. He had no idea what. But because he was safe, this dreaded emptiness began creeping into his mind. Maybe it was the missing sexual attraction, maybe it was something not at all related to Scottie. But the second time felt worse than the first. The apathy was overwhelming and he just needed to feel something, anything. That was, why he had put out the ad, inviting people to come and use him as they liked. Only one condition had been applied. They were not allowed to speak. Back then, Scottie had been his rescue in the days and months after, when Danny would fight his way back to life.

Danny had his eyes closed under the duvet. He heard muffled sounds, but couldn't be bothered to react.

Maybe it was the fighting that had kept him alive, the idea that somehow somewhere there was a better life to be had. That he could change things for the better.

He got the job, nothing shiny but enough to make a living. He found a place to live with Pavel and Sara. And once again, he felt safe. Scottie would look after him. Danny would dance the night away in clubs and bars, hooking up with the good-looking guys, and be gushing about his newest crush to Sara.

That's when it assaulted him the third time. It was unexpected and sudden. He left the club that morning, stumbled out into the street and felt the void growing inside of him. He tried to call out, but people were still asleep or too tired to talk to him. Even Scottie had his mobile on voice mail.

Alex found him. Saved him, literally. Danny had a new purpose in life, a new aim. First, he had to find Alex, befriend him, become his lover. They never reached the point where Danny had to face the threat of emptiness. Alex disappeared, Scottie was murdered, and when everything seemed lost, Q and James came into his life.

They needed his help to save Alex, save the world from this computer programme. Taking down TRS, restarting his relationship with Alex; becoming lovers all four of them.

Maybe it had just been a dream. All of it. Some kind of cruel demon, putting the images and voices, the sensations and experiences into his mind. Just to show him, what could have been if only he had been a better person. Someone who really deserved all of this, not someone like him.

He had let them down. All of them. He hadn't been able to save Scottie. And now, now, he should be happy. He loved them, all three of them. Why wasn't it enough? Why couldn't he just be happy with them? For them? They meant the world to him and now he was just lying here, unable to move, to prepare for their home coming, to show them how much he loved them, how much they meant to him.

Something shifted and he was blinded by the light of day when the duvet was pulled back slowly.

Muffled voices, a blur of people. He knew them. James, Alex, Q. They were talking to him. Softly, sounding worried. Why would they be worried? He should be worried. He was the one who had failed.

They moved him. Gentle hands. He tried to smile, but couldn't even lift his head, couldn't look them in the eye. Danny was in the bathroom now. He was slumped against the cold tiles on the wall, James was sitting next to him. It was cold and wet, but James held on to him.

The door opened and Alex came in. He kneeled in front of Danny and looked at him.

"Are you okay?" he said in his soft melodic voice.

Bewildered, Danny looked up. His eyes found Alex's—those serious, blue eyes, observing him with a hint of sadness and deep concern. Something stirred inside of Danny. A memory, so vivid and tangible, opening the closed doors to other cherished moments in the past two years.

Danny swallowed, tried to smile.

"I'm fine. If you'd know me," his voice broke and the first tear flowed.

Alex caught it, just like he had done that early morning back on the bridge. His look of wonder was as genuine and caring as it had been back then. Danny leaped forward, pulling James with him, hugging Alex close to him. The tears broke free and he cried. Ugly, thick tears, snot dripping down from his nose, his mouth open, heaving for air while he let go, let it all out, held safely between James and Alex.


	3. Chapter 3

Q stood at the kitchen window, a steaming mug of tea in his hand, contemplating the situation. As much as the crying had been necessary for Danny—like opening an infested wound—Q decisively wished Danny never ever would have to experience it again. It had sliced right through Q. He had no idea how Bond or Alex were able to deal with these kinds of emotions. When they had found Danny yesterday, Bond had to tell Q what to do, how to do it. He was a total mess, guilt ridden and unable to get the smallest things right. In the end, Bond had ordered him to stay out of the way and just prepare the guest room for the two of them.

A ping announced yet another new email and Q turned back to his laptop on the table. Pam was sitting on the counter looking at him much like she normally would eye Bond. Q had the distinctive feeling that if Pam could speak, she would declare J'accuse with a dramatic pause for better effect before sentencing him to death or—if he was really, really lucky—one hundred whip lashes. She had kept close to him ever since the others had vanished into the bathroom. No doubt making sure he wouldn't try to escape from his just punishment. Turing on the other hand wanted nothing at all to do with him. Right now, he was sitting patiently waiting at the closed bathroom door, ready to weave through Danny's legs whenever he would emerge again.

Q heaved a weary sigh. At least they had come up with a plan and Q hoped, Alex was right. He probably was. Q shook his head. God dammit, he really had to learn a lot more about his lovers, didn't he? When Danny came up with idea of Alex working in the field with Bond, Q had deemed it impossible. And how wrong had he been. Where Bond was a bulldozer, Alex was the scalpel. He just knew how people worked. As much as he kept an inscrutable mask at work, going by the nickname automaton at MI6, he would be able to tell Q when one of his minions was having trouble at home or was about to deflect to another department. A flush crept over Q's face, remembering the good luck sex the four of them had when Bond and Alex had started on their last mission. Alex would be so beautiful, vulnerable and open—so very different from his work persona.

Another ping and Q forced his thoughts on more pressing matters. He had ordered food and other necessities to be delivered later today. Danny must have collapsed shortly after he had seen Q off to work. The flat had been cleaned and Danny must have managed to finish the book he had been reading, Child 44 by one Tom Rob Smith. The two of them had been discussing it and Q had found it rather depressing. Maybe they could blame this whole cock up on this Smith guy? Would serve him right, Q thought vindictively. Danny had read a few of his other works, all likewise depressing. Especially the one about a gay couple, becoming lovers by a chance meeting. Nah, of all the books Alex had brought home for Danny to read, the comics by Ralf König were Q's absolute favourites. His retelling of Jago had him giggling from the very first drawing, and when Danny decided to actually read it out loud to all of them, standing up in the middle of the living room and enacting the different characters—that had been the funniest thing ever. They had all been in tears from laughing.

Ah yeah, well. Different kind of tears now, Q thought and finally turned his attention to his emails.

About an hour later, Danny and Bond exited the bathroom and went to the bedroom, closely followed by Turing. Alex came out a little later, probably having cleaned the room and put everything back in order. Good thing, Q thought, things were returning to their normal routine, then. As if Pam could sense Q's relief, she gave a warning flick with her tail and Q could have sworn, she cocked one eyebrow at him.

"Yes, yes, your highness, I'm still at it. We'll make this right again, I promise!"

They had concocted their plan earlier that morning. Alex had seen this coming. He had in fact been waiting for this to happen for the past months. Thinking back, Q must admit that they shouldn't have been surprised at all. Bond and Q had excessive training in dealing with the trauma and suffering they might encounter in their line of work. Alex had been seeing a therapist for several sessions after his incarceration, and when he started out at MI6 he had been put through the same courses and training as Bond and Q before him. They all had Danny to help them with the upheavals and minor dramas their daily work life would offer. And Danny? He had been through hell and back again in the past two, three years. Yes, he had three lovers who would do anything for him, but he had never had any professional help. He had declined seeing a therapist, because he would have problems trusting them. The system, the authorities had screwed him over so many times, it was a wonder he was able to trust anyone at all. And yet, here he was, loving the three of them without expectations or demands. Q had never seen him sulking or irritated, when Bond would explain the latest events of yet another honeypot mission, or when Alex and Q would try to explain the genius of one of their algorithms. Quite the contrary, Danny would be interested and delighted to be let in on their experiences and stories, their thoughts and work. He would ask questions, prod for further information and just revel in their brilliance.

The more Q thought about it, the more it became clear Alex's plan might actually work

Finally, all four of them assembled in the kitchen. Q had prepared tea and used whatever eatable he could find to prepare some sandwiches. Bond was sitting sideways on one of the larger kitchen chairs, placing Danny firmly in his lap and nudging him to lean back against his chest. Danny looked exhausted and embarrassed. Turing was again purring away, curled up in Danny's lap while Pam was overlooking the ongoing proceedings with her normal indifference.

Alex came in last, a small stack of papers in his hand. He sat down at one end of the table, Bond and Danny on one side and Q with his laptop on his other. Pam had retreated to the window sill, looking bored.

"I'm sorry."

Danny didn't look at any of them, petting Turing and by all means looking like guilt personified. Bond cleared his throat and gave a warning look at Q and Alex. They had talked about the guilt question, each one feeling more guilty than the other. But none of that would help Danny in any way at all.

"Danny, of all the people in this room, you are by far the most innocent one."

When Danny tried to protest, Bond took his face in his hands and forced him to look at him.

"Stop it, love! We have all our demons to fight, but you are the only one who had been fighting them alone for far too long."

Bond's voice broke no argument. Danny made a small sound when Bond closed the distance between them, letting his hands slide into Danny's hair when their lips met. The kiss was chaste at first, but when their lips parted, Bond couldn't resist. He plundered Danny's mouth with his tongue, sucking, licking and exploring. Danny let him, became limp in Bond's embrace and protested slightly, when Bond finally drew back. Alex and Q had been staring unabashedly, both shifting in their seats as their pants suddenly seemed unpleasantly tight.

Now it was Q who cleared his throat.

"Okay, with that out of the way, Alex wants to explain," Q broke of, a bit befuddled. "Erhm, he wants to tell you about some of the ideas we have for your future."

Danny went still.

"Please, don't send me away," he said silently.

"What?"

Alex sounded angry and looked accusingly at Q, as if he was to blame for Danny's twisted thought processes. Q lifted his hands in surrender, Bond just groaned and pulled Danny even closer in his embrace.

"Don't be stupid, love! Just shut up and listen to Alex, will you?"

Danny nodded embarrassed, looking down at Turing. This time, the cat was casting accusing glances at them, while Pam just about seemed to have given up on all of them. She jumped off the sill and went out into the kitchen. Q couldn't blame her.

Alex took another look at his papers, before he sat up straight. Very gently, he started to coax Danny into telling them how often he had experienced these kinds of breakdowns before. Alex knew about all of them, but they needed for Danny to realise the connection between them.

Slowly at first, because Danny obviously felt self-conscious and needed the reassurance from all of them, he began to explain about his previous 'lapses' as he called them. Alex and Q were asking questions, while Bond would make sure that Danny would feel safe. More than any of them, Danny needed the tactility, the sensation of being held and cared for in a very physical way. Bond was happy to be the huge cuddly bear, growling at Q or Alex when he felt Danny tense up or become teary eyed. They would take breaks, make tea, and prepare a proper dinner when the deliveries arrived. Danny relaxed as the day turned into night. They all ended up in their bedroom together, not talking, but all their focus on Danny. Making him feel loved and cherished, holding him, kissing and caressing him. They made Danny's world safe again, showed him in every way they could, how much he meant for each of them. The stress of the previous day fell away and they would fall asleep, huddled together, Danny in the middle of them, cocooned securely under blankets and held tight.

The next morning, Danny was up and ready, sounding as joyful as ever—and Alex had a small smile on his face, when he told him to get ready for breakfast and another round of 'counselling'. Danny's face fell in mock disappointment, but he was ready and a bit nervous when they had finished breakfast. They moved into the living room, tea and cookies ready. This time, Alex started out explaining how he would feel, if he would be staying home all day long, just waiting for one of his lovers to return home. As much as he loved all of them, he would probably go crazy within weeks if not days. Danny looked up with a frown.

"But, I'm not like you. I mean, you're a genius. Like Q. And your work is part of who you are. And the same goes for James. I'm—I've never, I wouldn't be able to work like that. I mean, a job will be fine. But, who would take a guy like me?"

Alex smiled widely now.

"Scottie introduced you to Claire, didn't he? When you were looking for Professor Shaw?"

Danny looked bewildered between the three of them. Alex nodded at Q, who opened his ever present laptop.

"Alex and I contacted her. You'd told Alex that she had said something about you could come to her, when you were ready, right?"

Danny nodded, looking even more confused now. Q couldn't blame him. That had been several years ago and so much had happened since. Q continued now.

"Alex had, well, he had experimented a bit with you, Danny."

Alex looked appropriately embarrassed, while Danny frowned. None of this made sense to him, obviously.

"You remember him taking you out fishing and coming home with crochet needles and yarn?"

Danny nodded.

"The cats liked to play with the yarn," he answered a bit defensively.

"And I liked the scarf, you made for me," Bond whispered in Danny's ear.

"Yes, well, the point was that he was trying to figure out what you really liked doing," Q continued, and added a bit sly, "and no, having sex is not the right answer to this question."

He winked at Danny and Danny couldn't help the grin on his face. The sombre mood was lifting.

"I like the books, you've given me," Danny explained. "I like reading and writing. And, you know, Forster's theories on different aspects of the novel—"

Danny stopped, confused about their reactions. Bond was hugging him tight again, kissing his neck; Alex was smiling brightly, looking achingly beautiful; and Q leaned back in the arm chair he was sitting in, casting an approving glance at Alex.

"Exactly," Q practically beamed at him. "Exactly, what Alex explained to us. You see, Danny, we have contacted Claire. And if you want to, you can start at the university college here in London later this year."

Q stopped talking, in fact, he stopped breathing as well. They all looked at Danny, not wanting to put any pressure on him, but all of them hoping he would take this suggestion as positive as they had meant it to be.

Danny looked at Q, then Alex. His eyes were wide. He entangled himself from Bond, who didn't hold him back but swallowed nervously. Danny stood up and looked at all of them once more, before he left the room. They were stunned. Alex was distressed, Bond bemused and Q didn't know what to think. Nobody said anything.

Then, Pam made her entrance. A grandee of cats as there ever has been, she strutted in front of Danny who returned behind her. He stopped in the doorway, looking shocked. He had tears in his eyes and fidgeted with his fingers. He tried to speak, several times.

"I'm—are you sure? Is this really happening?"

Q jumped up as did Alex, their 'yes of course' was drowned in hugs and kisses. Bond just laid back with a satisfied smile, scratching a contented Turing behind his ears. Pam was of course above all that racket, she just found her appropriate place, overlooking the scene from the height of the window sill once more.

Q knew that they would have a lot of work ahead of them. Danny would need to get used to timetables and reading text books and exams; then again, it would be a challenge and it would continue to be a challenge for many years to come. Something, they were sure he would be able to master. And it would be so much more than just learning the scholarly ways of an academic.

Several months later, Danny got up one early morning. He opened the blinds and sunlight flowed in. He walked into the study, one of the spare rooms, they had in their flat. Now, he had his books and laptop placed in there. Danny gathered his pens and notebooks.

He walked down to the shed and took out his bike. He set off, cycling down at speed, towards the city. He was cycling through London. When he arrived at the University College, he locked up his bike. With his bag he walked towards the main entrance. The quad was crowded with students. One among many, Danny climbed the steps and entered the building. There was a spring in his step, the energy of hopes and ambitions.


End file.
